Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of work and partners who are willing to do their part and keep their marriage alive. And when there are kids involved, you should lead by example and let them see that love, respect, trust, and honesty should be essential between partners.
However, there are couples who stay together for the kids. Their marriage is toxic, and there are anger and resentment between them, but they think that it’s better for their children to grow up with both of their parents.
Of course, divorce is painful. It hurts everyone, especially the children. But, it is more painful for them to watch their parents constantly fight and insult each other. And even when they don’t do it in front of their children, they can sense when their parents are angry and there is no longer love between them.
Children who are raised in toxic families tend to copy the toxicity of their parents’ marriage. They mirror the relationship that their parents had because they grow up to think that that is normal. Fights, arguments, and coldness become their reality, and unfortunately, they will transfer those things to their future relationships.
Therefore, they could never be able to build a healthy and loving relationship because their role relationship was anything but healthy and loving. They will have difficulty connecting with someone on a deep and honest level out of fear.
Moreover, children who have been raised in toxic families are more vulnerable to stress and they don’t know how to deal with stressful situations and conflicts. They haven’t had a safe place, their home was a source of unhappiness and tension, and so, they always see a threat in everything and everyone.
As a way of numbing their feelings, they will pick up bad habits like gambling, drinking, stress eating, smoking, or excessive video game playing just to escape from their real life.
Moreover, door slamming, curse words, aggression, physical or verbal violence, will become a part of their personality because they don’t feel safe. They will repeat the mistakes of their parents by repeating the behavior they have seen at home.
That’s why divorce is often a better option than staying in an unhealthy and toxic marriage just for the kids. Protect your children from future trauma. They don’t have to suffer in their marriages just like their parents did.